did you know

that tina fey has a scar under her cheek from when a man came up to her in her front yard and slashed her face when she was five?

I LOVE FEB 15

inspired by peas

WELL. two days ago, i went to dinner with some friends. we needed an extra chair so i went to the next table where a girl and boy were eating together. i asked the girl, "are you guys using this chair?" the girl looked at me and didn't say anything but they had been talking so i said, "no?" and she continued to look at me. and i looked at her. and then i just grabbed the chair and walked back. as i was doing so, she said snidely, "that was weird," to her companion. and then, i couldn't stop thinking about that for a long time. hahahhahha!

and i'm still thinking about that. i kept thinking of things i woulda shoulda done. i hoped she would come to my work so i could be like, "OHHH YOU NEED HELP?" well! that was two days ago. since then, i feel better and happier than before that incident. i'm more outspoken, i don't adapt to the person i talk to, and i care less! lange just called and told me that when he was walking out of the SC, there was a girl on the phone who said "HEY" and he heard "LANGE" so he was like "..heeeeey" but she wasn't talking to him. it happens to everyone! next time, i don't want it to take two days. oh and today, prateek got my letter.

Tara Yuan Gu

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

--Captain Corelli's Mandolin

doubt=trust

one of my biggest problems is when i'm deeply in love with someone, i feel upset when i see them in love with someone else. i feel like i have some unique bond with a girl, but then she has a unique bond with this girl or that boy and i'm shocked. and of course that doesn't make sense. i have many loves. so why does it feel like i'm abandoned or something? betrayed? it's a little pain that pokes me in the side, no matter how hard i know it's wrong. and then i hold myself away from this person. i doubt them, i doubt myself, i feel as if i don't know them anymore. but i need to trust these people i love. lay my life and heart into their hands. know that their love is shared, but each love is equally important. and i know that. every person i love is for an equally, beautifully good reason. i just need to trust that this is what other people are doing too. that my relationship with them is still meaningful. because i need that.

january

sometimes i am just enjoying my life, skipping along, tips to my toes, then crash, boom, slam! cats and dogs falling down. the sky falls down and i can see everything behind it. and it makes my heart crumble.

and then i realize i've got the world in my hand, the sun in my mouth!!!!